1. Be open about your feelings:
It may sound like a cliched rule, but when you are open and honest with your partner about your feelings, it benefits your relationship in more than one way. Your actions may send across a wrong message and your partner might just not be able to pick on those cues. For instance you may be upset over something and would not talk to your partner and go to bed. He may not think much of it except that you are tired and both of you would never discuss the issue at all.
The best way would be to communicate. Honest and open communications would encourage your partner to do the same and will strengthen the bond between the two of you.
2. Initiate sex:
If you think that sex is an important part of a marriage only in the initial years, you are absolutely wrong. In fact, as you grow more mature in your marriage over the years, sex takes on a more than ever important role. It helps you and your partner stay more connected and be more receptive towards each other. Instead of waiting for your partner to talk about sex, take some control in bed and initiate sex. Surprise your husband by asking for sex when he would have least expected it.
It will not only spark an interest and need for each other, but it will also indicate that you are still attracted to him and want to be with him.
Of course, there will be times when both you and your partner feel bogged down by the busy and fast lifestyle. But do acknowledge the fact that having regular sex with your partner should be a part of your life. When you and your partner connect on a physical level, it will keep you both connected emotionally as well as mentally and it will do wonders for your relationship.
3. Give importance to physical intimacy:
Physical intimacy does not translate to sex. You can be physically connected by simple gestures such as giving a hug, holding hands, giving a small peck on the cheek or forehead, sitting close to each other in such a way that your shoulders touch and so on.
Make room for simple acts of physical intimacy in your everyday routine. For instance, if you are going out somewhere, even if to a grocery store, hold hands while looking for items. Or, if you are watching a movie at home, sit together on the couch and place an arm around your partner, or just place your hand on your partner’s lap. Such simple gestures will need no additional time or effort from your end and they would make your partner happy as well.
4. Do things together:
Sure, you spend most of your time with each other, which means you also need time off from each other. But how you spend time together is very important.
For instance, once you have your meal, both of you could take up kitchen duties, as one of you washes the dishes and the other dries and puts them in place. Or maybe you could cook a meal together. These are simple everyday things that you tend to ignore and not give any importance to, but when you do it as a couple, it makes your relationship stronger. If you have time and the inclination, join a class or activity that you both can participate in together.
5. Take it away from the public eye:
No matter how many differences you have or how annoyed and angry you are at your partner, never express that in public. Treat your marriage with respect. When you start blaming your partner in front of others, it will make him feel unloved and disrespected. While you don’t have to shout at your partner, even unkind words and hurtful comments and taunts can be equally humiliating and damaging.
It is possible that your partner behaves in a way that you find offensive or do not agree with. Even if that happens in a public place, refrain from reacting just then. You can tell your partner that you would appreciate if you could discuss about it later, in private.
If your partner is as understanding as you, or mature enough, he will oblige. Discuss the issue with a calm mind. Make sure you tell your partner what made you feel bad and how you think you both should have handled the situation. Of course, do be prepared to listen to your partner’s side of the story.
6. Learn to relax:
Sometimes, despite doing everything right, a marriage heads towards divorce. Why would this happen? As the years progress you could send to take your marriage for granted and this could be one of the biggest reasons for a marriage to fail. You should make marriage your priority.
For instance, there were guests at home and after they left, the kitchen is a mess, with the sink overflowing, and too many dishes to be done. Your partner asks you if you want to watch a movie to which your response is that the kitchen should be taken care of. This is a list opportunity as you could have watched the movie first and then the two of you could have cleaned the kitchen together. You should learn to relax and prioritize.
7. Give importance to alone time:
It may sound the opposite of what we’ve been saying till now, such as spending more and more time together. However, the truth is that spending time alone and letting your partner do the same is a must for a happy and successful marriage. Both you and your partner may love to do things together, but there will be instances when your partner may want to be on his own. He may want to be with his friends, or may just want to sit alone with a book, or head out for a walk. Instead of worrying that something is wrong and your partner may be upset with you, let him have his free time.
Taking time out for yourself will allow you to relax and recuperate. If you or your partner wants time off from each other, it does not always have to mean that something is wrong, or that you are upset about something. It is a very simple way to let your mind switch off from everything and just do nothing. Just as you would like to spend some time on your own without thinking about anything, so would your partner as well.
8. Get help when needed:
Just as you would visit a medical professional if you are unwell, it is important to take the health of your marriage seriously as well. Both you and your partner may have tried to work hard on the marriage, but it may seem that something is not right. Instead of trying to figure out what went wrong by yourself, try and get some professional help.
A marriage counselor will help you and your partner look at the relationship in a way that you may not have seen earlier. The person will help both of you analyze the relationship and look at what seems wrong and what can be done to rectify the situation. Visiting a marriage counselor is not something you should be ashamed of or try to hide. In fact, if you do visit a marriage counselor, it means that you are very serious about your relationship and want to try everything that will make it work.
